


Gregnant

by Mature Norm (Nerdpaw)



Series: Beta Snatcher AU [1]
Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Implied/Referenced Sex, Joke Fic, Kidnapping, M/M, Meme, Pregnancy Test, Referenced Kidnapping, Slow Romance, Snatcher is an idiot, This is based off the game's beta lore, do not take this seriously, mention of other AUs, this is also based partially off Shane Frost's work, this is an au!, where the snatcher and the prince were different people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:00:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdpaw/pseuds/Mature%20Norm
Summary: The Snatcher and the Painter have been doing this for a while and the former has just learned humans use sex to reproduce.--made this because of a joke me and my friends made on discord
Relationships: Moonjumper/Snatcher (A Hat in Time), The Snatcher/The Painter | The Prince, technically - Relationship
Series: Beta Snatcher AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710193
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Gregnant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DemonKingUwU](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonKingUwU/gifts).



“Why… Why did you get this?  _ Where _ did you get this?”

The young painter rubbed the bridge of his nose as he sat up from the absolute pile of blankets he spent most of his days and nights in. The Snatcher was in front of him, holding a white stick-type-thing, usual glowing grin on his face and illuminating the room dimly. It was probably just becoming dusk, since he’s been sleeping his daylight away the past few days with the shadow’s activities being exclusively whenever the sun was out of sight.

“I got it because we’ve been doing sex things and I was told humans can get something called ‘preg-nan-see’ or whatever.” He waved the thing around like a wand. “I got it from a lady I don’t associate with anymore that I also did sex things with." He then dropped the thing into the painter’s lap, breaking the man’s spell of annoyance as he let out a startled squeak-type noise. The shadow’s grin widened momentarily before he crossed his arms. “Now get to using it.”

The human sputtered a moment. “H-how do I even use one of these things?”

He got a shrug in response. “You pee on it or something.”

The painter felt his face heating up with embarrassment, and he quickly covered his face with his hands, letting out a low groan of defeat and embarrassment. He didn’t even explain that human males couldn’t get pregnant in the first place. Honestly, he didn’t know if having sex with a shadow-cryptid-monster-thing could change how his body functions, the most he’s noticed is he felt colder more often then not. “F-fine… I’ll go… pee on this stick thing and bring it back…” 

He started to get up, holding the test in his hand. It was hard to get situated on the blankets, and he found himself surprised when he felt cold contact under his arms before the Snatcher hoisted him up, setting him on his feet a moment later. It was a type of tenderness — if it can be even called that — he was not used to from the shadow in all the time he has been stuck with him. The painter gave a small huff as he slowly stepped away from the other, giving an equally small “Thank you” before making his way to his ‘bathroom’.

He was thankful that the Snatcher had chosen a cottage to keep him in, despite how old it was and how it was littered with various stolen goods, ranging from the pile of blankets he slept on to the various articles of clothing. Within the designated bathroom was, well, a tub for bathing in, a toilet, and washing basin, but just beside that were various items such as towels, soaps, and… phalluses of various sizes and shapes. He desperately kept his eyes off those and instead braved himself to stand at the toilet, sparing a glance at the unused test in hand with a frown.

He stood there for a moment, and in the back of his mind he was aware that if he took any longer the Snatcher would come in to check on him, and he really didn’t need that when he was doing something as embarrassing as this. Slowly he tugged down the front of his pants, letting himself hang a moment before he finally managed to take a piss on the stick-test. He hoped this was an actual thing rather than another excuse for the shadow to come up behind him with his pants down. That has happened… far too frequently and he hates admitting it.

He set the test aside, finishing up with relieving himself before hastily tucking himself back into his trousers and cleaning his hands lightly, glancing at the test before exiting the bathroom. He had barely made it two steps before he was swept up into noodly arms, giving a small yelp of surprise and almost dropping the test.

“Took you long enough, short stack.” The Snatcher hummed as he plopped himself onto the blanket pile with the human in his lap. “What’s the stick say?” The painter took a moment to come to his senses, embarrassment washing over him once again. He hated this overgrown hand puppet to no ends, especially for acting so casual about everything they do and have done with each other.

He spared a glance at the test. Well… “There’s a line?” Neither of them knew how these worked and it was  _ really _ starting to show. A large grin once again appeared on the shadow’s face, and the reaction really only made the painter feel mortified by the situation.

“I think that means there’s a kiddo on the way! But I’ll have to confirm with my not-associate.”

Once again, the painter completely abandoned the logical thought of ‘they must be reading it wrong’ in favor of panicking about some weird fucking monster somehow impregnating him and how his life was beyond over. He fell back against the shadow’s chest, closing his eyes as stress overwhelmed him. To his surprise, he felt cold arms wrap around him, and he heard a low rumble that he realized was purring. He opened his eyes when he felt their position shift so they were laying, the Snatcher staying solid and curling around him in an odd embrace.

The painter blinked a little, confused.  _ Was he being this nice because he thinks I’m expecting? _ He let out a small huff, trying to get comfortable despite the cold, sticking whatever limbs he could spare into the blankets. The cold coils of the shadow’s embrace shifted, and he heard him hum lightly with pleased contentment before he heard him speak in a surprisingly soft tone. “I’ll go in a few hours, just rest up.”

The human found himself relaxing at the tone, and felt himself practically melt when he felt the shadow pull blankets over the both of them. He felt exhausted, both from his sudden awakening and the new stressor this noodle got him hooked up with. It was mere minutes before he found himself soundly asleep, curled up and snuggled into blankets and darkness.


End file.
